Maybe Tomorrow

Maybe Tomorrow
02.08.14 (Day 223)
09.42
I’ll find another place. It really is a case of having to now. Despite many previous false alarms, this one’s for real. The boy who seemingly cried wolf met the sheep in wolf’s clothing yesterday. The property owner: no nonsense business guy on the outside but with a big heart. He has a warrant for our removal but through his sheer good grace, he has allowed us to remain. He reads this, so I’d like to extend a heartfelt thankyou to a true gentleman.
It’s always been a case of living day by day here and the time was always going to come eventually for us to move on. The Warrant for Removal has a Best Before date and that date isn’t far off. Beyond that date and my owner has to apply for another court order. We’ve cost him far too much already and I don’t want to remain in the guy’s remaining hair. We’ve had a gentleman’s agreement throughout and that too has an expiry date. We will part company amicably and quietly, with a handshake and a hug. We’ll probably keep in touch as the owner genuinely cares and has seen what goes on here with my charming self.
On Monday we lose power. We were leeching it anyway. My owner has indirectly financed what we do here. Thereafter, it’s a case of making plans for moving on. A couple of weeks at the most, in the dark.
There’ll never be another place like this. You really couldn’t make up this part of the story. The characters, the fairy godfather, the main protagonist and many antagonists but all good stories must come to an end.
I admit that I created a positive rut here but it served me and others well. I turned down opportunities because of what I was doing. I should have been more selfish but less selfish at the same time. But I’m also borderline agoraphobic, paranoid and suffer BPD, PTSD and depression. And yes, I drink but am never drunk.
Well some very helpful people have been very helpful, as those types tend to be. My helper at CAB arranged a repeat sick note to be issued by a doctor, thereby maintaining my limited liquid capital cashflow. Said doctor then granted me a double appointment conducted over the phone. All of which meant that I didn’t have to move and things came to me. Or they would if I didn’t have to move out. There are plans for a team of medics to visit me because I’m vulnerable and could be especially so when I move on but then they may not be able to find me. The irony.
This town has many things to move away from but also reasons to stay. One reason is particularly magnetic: my Clingy Thingy. Then there’s the others who remain supportive: The Ninja, the fold-up one, the comfy one and the reclining, constantly hungry one among others. I have an offer to remain in town from family friends and it is somewhere that significant others would be able to visit. It’s a stop gap and a stepping stone to the next stage of the journey. Should I stay or should I go? If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it could be double.
But there are people worth doing it for and one in particular. I’ll sleep on it.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll finally settle down.

Addendum: didn’t happen. The world is my Oyster Card.

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One thought on “Maybe Tomorrow

  1. Steve,
    It’s high time you got a little bit selfish and put yourself first. I appreciate that helping others may help you (nearly all charitable work/donations is done in order to make the ‘giver’ feel better about themselves) but I suspect that you might be sub-consciously using this as an excuse not to move forward! I wish you the very best whatever you decide to do and if you are ever really in the shit (and I can help) then I’m only an email away.
    Cheers,
    Tony
    PS Please don’t approve this comment as ths is a message for you not every fucker who reads the blog! 🙂

    Like

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