All That Went Before

10.10.14 (Day 292)

08.42

What a difference two days make.

After so much fighting, kicking back, getting knocked back and time wasting over the last 292 days, things are falling into place.

The final piece of the jigsaw is in place to facilitate the next move: a physical one, into a hostel for up to six months. Whilst there, I will be helped with a more permanent housing solution. The final piece of the puzzle was CRI (Crime Reduction Initiative) and I’m seeing them on Monday, from which point I will be officially “engaged”. This is what the hostel were waiting for. They already have a crime report and a medical report for me from the police and my doctor respectively. They have risk assessed me and concluded that I pose very little (except when I adopt an aggressive stance).

So as soon as a room becomes available at Colebrook House (the hostel), I’m in. There are many more challenges to face but I have a new found determination, thanks to a number of factors: the family who have put me up (put up with me?), the wife and the friends who have stuck by me and supported me. To those and others, I owe an eternal gratitude. My debts will be repaid, I promise. I may have fucked up in the past but I’m always true to my word.

My doctor was the key. By recognising my situation and prescribing me anti-depressants when the guidelines say to perhaps not, he has given me a new drive. I’ve only been on Mirtazapine for two days and the anti-depressant element will take weeks to kick in but the sedative effect has afforded me more sleep and as a result, I’m working again.

I’m working for myself. I can’t work for anyone else as I’m too difficult; too volatile and hard to contain. And I always know better than my employer and think I can do a better job than my boss. For “think”, see “know”. That’s why when my last employer made myself as Sales Director and my team redundant, I started up a business in competition with my ex-employer and they went down. Full of myself? Maybe. Confident? Yes.

So I’m doing it again. I’m starting up a sole trader business. Not a limited company (although, maybe sometime) but just me, doing what I love: working with food and people. It’s a simple concept and I’ve run through everything. Too much to write here but I’m confident that the thing has legs. In brief, the trading name is Restaurant at Home. It does what it says: provides a restaurant service in the comfort of people’s own homes. There’s lots to do and things not to do. I’ve thought about all of that. There are those who would love to see me fail, I know. I fucked up before and I fucked some of those people up too. I just hope I don’t get picked apart and stamped down as I have been in the past by those people. If I do, I’ll just get up and start again, as I’m better than them.

The business card is done and with the printers:

Restaurant at Home-page-0

Today I’m sorting out flyers. Thereafter, I need to address social networking, marketing and everything else that’s needed for something like this to take off. I’ve done it before and this isn’t anything like as complicated or time-consuming as setting up and running a limited company but I have at least four 12-hour days ahead of me if the legs on this thing are going to walk. Then there’s a lot of walking and running around for me to do. I sincerely hope that my doubters won’t try to trip me up on this one.

My doubters include those who abandoned me. Well, I’m getting better now and I want to do something to repay my debts and in memory of those I lost.

This one goes out to all that went before.

09.42

In the last three hours, I’ve done half a day’s work, fed the dog (as he came downstairs and no-one followed, so I assume he was sent down for the butler to feed) and exchanged civil messages with the ex-wife. Apparently the boy has been made school council representative for his class and Lola is Lola. They’re both settled into their new home and school and I asked their mum to give them my love and tell them that daddy is proud. She says she will. And I only messaged her to wish her happy birthday.

11.42

Messages of support for the venture and the concept are already coming in. The boss (the head of the house here, one of the co-directors of me and one boss who I respect) said that once you have the entrepreneurial spirit, you never lose it. I lost it for a while but I found it again.

So nice to be encouraged and not kicked back.

I await the kick in these new-grown balls of granite that I have. It will happen, I know. I’m just building a business and rebuilding a life; my own, like those of others I’ve helped with.

12.42

The support continues to come in: an offer of catering equipment to use among many other offers. This is what I meant to do. I can’t go back into print; I’m too well known. Food and people is what I’m all about.

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